What is it?

The answer is a simple four letter word: time.

As a young stay-at-home mom, I used to put off doing the laundry.  We must have had a ton of clothes because we never seemed to run out of clean clothes.  (Truth be told, occasionally I did have to buy extra underwear.)  Our days were filled with fun outings, learning and loving opportunities.  I loved spending time with my children and justified the growing pile of dirty clothes.  I glanced at the eyesore and imagined spending hours of drudgery, wasting time away from my priority: my children. Clothes could wait. It wasn’t too bad, anyway. Or so I thought.

I’ll never forget when my oldest ventured into the laundry room with me.  Next thing you know, she climbed on top of the dirty clothes and announced, “I’m on top of the world!” Uh-oh! Wake up call! I decided then and there that I had to make time for laundry.  The funny thing is that it didn’t take as long as I thought and I found a way to include the kids. I realized that I’d wasted more time stressing about not doing it than the time it actually took to do it. Go figure.

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of uncompleted task.” William James

Time is a funny thing.  We all have the same amount of time, but have the choice of how to use it.  We are not victims of time.  We can make time to do the things that are important.  Yet, many of us say we don’t have time to do something, be it exercising, cleaning or keeping in touch with loved ones.  We get busy with everyday things and even waste time on frivolous things (Facebook anyone?). Then we wonder where the time flew.

The problem is… there is a price for not doing these things. Friendships grow apart. Stress builds up from not doing these things.   You have to buy more underwear. More importantly, you risk destroying your health and your relationships.

“The bad news is time flies.  The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler

I am tired of hearing people say that they don’t have time to work out or call a loved one.  Really? We live in a technology rich time (pun intended) and can stay in touch with friends and family easier than in past generations.  Not having time is just an excuse.  Get up earlier.  Put it on your calendar.  What it says to me is that you don’t put importance on that relationship.  You don’t put importance on yourself when you don’t make time to take care of yourself.  We are not victims.  We can make time for what’s important.

“Time = Life; Therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or

master your time and master your life.” Alan Lakein

There are tons of books on time management, but what it really comes down to is this: the clock ticks the same way every day.  Decide what is important to you and make each second count because you really don’t know which one will be your last.  You can quote me on that.

~~ Maggie

Filed under: Family, kids Tagged: Alan Lakein, Business, Clothing, Facebook, Home, Housewife, Laundry, Laundry room, Time, Time management, William James ]]> http://magwunderlich.wordpress.com/2011/11/12/waste-it-or-master-it/feed/ 1 maggiewunderlich time-slipping http://magwunderlich.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/my-what-would-you-do-moment/ http://magwunderlich.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/my-what-would-you-do-moment/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 00:04:22 +0000 Maggie Wunderlich http://magwunderlich.wordpress.com/?p=733 ]]> At the risk of sounding boastful, I want to share a story of a good deed. It was my “What would you do?” moment and I’m sharing it because I want people to know that someone cares and good deeds happen by strangers all the time.

I was driving with my teenage daughter on a busy two lane road (about 5:30 PM) and I noticed an elderly man in a wheelchair on the road’s shoulder.  His wheelchair looked stuck and his head was hanging as if he’d had a stroke or was extremely tired.  It was getting a little nippy out and the traffic was getting heavier, but this poor guy was sitting there on the road’s shoulder, which wasn’t more than a piece of broken-up concrete.  My daughter and I looked at each other and it was a “What would you do?” moment.  Keep driving? Or…turn around and help?

You guessed it.

We turned the car around.  I pulled up alongside him and asked if he was okay.  I heard a low murmur, “My battery’s dead.”  That’s when I knew I couldn’t drive away.  I pulled over and we walked toward him.  He looked to be an elderly man, in his 80′s (?) with one leg and a thin jacket on.  At this point, thoughts crossed my mind about stranger danger.  After all, I grew up in a big city where you NEVER picked up a stranger, regardless how frail they looked. (Old Grandma could have a semi tucked under her shawl…) I said a silent prayer and asked God to help me make the right decision here.

At first, I asked him if there was anyone I could call for him.  His face revealed the answer before he uttered a word.  “No,” he answered quietly.  Either there was no one to call or he’d forgotten their phone number. His eyes looked away, as if I would leave it at that and go home.

What would you do?

I felt God’s peace here and asked, “Can I give you a ride home?”

His eyes lit up and he looked a little in shock. “Really?” I said he’d have to help me figure out how to dismantle his wheelchair and how to get him in my car.  He said he would just hop over and he’d explain what to do.  I popped my trunk and he hopped right over to the back bumper, where he sat down and gave me instructions.  Then he hopped over to the side of my car and got in the back seat.

I had NO IDEA how heavy wheelchair batteries are! There were two of them and each had to weigh at least twenty pounds! The wheelchair wasn’t too hard to collapse – similar to a stroller from years ago when I had to figure that one out – and it was heavy too.  I was lucky my daughter was with me and helped me lift that thing. I honestly don’t know how people lift these in and out of cars all the time for their loved ones. Now, THAT’S love.

His house was just a few blocks over and my daughter and I introduced ourselves. He said his name was Fred and he thanked me repeatedly.  I asked him, “So, Fred, where were you heading?”

“The store.”

“What did you want to buy?”

He replied, “Cigarettes.”

I half-joked, “Well, Fred, maybe this was a sign to quit smoking, eh?”

He laughed at that and by then we were at his house.  We unloaded the wheelchair and got him situated. Fred thanked us again several times and we said our good-byes.

My “What would you do?” moment stayed with me the rest of the week and I’ll probably never forget Fred. I felt blessed meeting him and he reminded me that we all live on this same planet and, while we may not know each other, we can help each other.  We are all God’s children.

~~ Maggie

Like most people, I remember exactly where I was when I heard about the terrorist attacks of September 11th. I was at a BSF meeting (Bible Study Fellowship). It was near the end of our first meeting and we were gathered as a large group, waiting to hear from our speaker, who was delayed. When she finally spoke, it was with the heartbreaking news of the attacks — and her daughter was in New York, who she couldn’t reach.  We were all women from different Christian religions, but we let our differences go and we united to pray. We prayed for the victims and their families; we prayed for our President to know what to do; we prayed for all who were suffering and for all who were risking their lives to find survivors. We prayed for miracles.

I remember thinking what I still think today: how horrible and scary that this could happen in our great nation. It’s as if our “live and let live” freedoms were now naive — how could we allow this to happen? It was a HUGE wake-up call for our national security and life as we knew it changed forever.

I put together a slideshow of sorts, using a new program I just learned called Prezi.com — it’s like Powerpoint on steroids — to remember September 11th. At the end of the slideshow is a video, which I did not create, but is quite powerful.

Here’s the link: Remembering 9/11

God Bless America.

~~Maggie

That’s not to say that we don’t know a thing or two about parenting and can’t learn from each other’s experiences. In fact, I’ve learned more from my mom friends/sisters, throughout the years, than any parenting books combined.

I’ve learned that you have to tell and show your children you love them, no matter what they do or say. Also, sometimes, you have to make the tough decisions, even if it doesn’t make you popular with your kids. Ultimately, you’re the parent and you have to look out for what’s best for them.

Here are some other nuggets of wisdom for new moms:

1.     If at first you don’t succeed at breastfeeding, DON’T GIVE UP!  It’s a myth that it’s an instinct and a newborn automatically knows how to do it. It’s a learned behavior, for both of you. What helped me was a supportive husband, who encouraged me to KEEP TRYING. Also, I rented a pump and fed her breast milk in a bottle, but alternately, I kept trying to nurse her and then – hallelujah – she nursed! I wanted to scream “SHE DID IT!” out her bedroom window.

2.     Learn to “read” your baby’s moods/cries/cues. One thing that helped me was to write down eating, sleeping and even BM patterns. The patterns help set the rhythm of our day. For example, if I knew it was getting close to the time that he or she was going to be hungry or over tired, I didn’t go to the store at that time.  It gets easier as they get older too.

3.     Surround yourself with other moms of similarly aged children. It really does take a village to raise a child! Not only is it a sanity break for a new mom, who wonders if she’s the only one who stayed up all night, but it’s also a great social time for the kids. I formed a playgroup when my firstborn was a year old and it lasted several years. I also joined La Leche League, a breastfeeding support group.  It helped to know, at the very least, that I was not alone and “this too shall pass.”

4.     Take babies everywhere with you, whenever it makes sense – grocery store, restaurants, etc. They learn what to expect and are more likely to behave because they are used to being there. Generally, they get accustomed to the places and it gets easier each time.  Of course, a lot has to do with the timing and there will be times when they are fussy and didn’t take that nap they needed to beforehand. I’ve been there!

5.     Make your home a haven – a safe environment for everyone. This means you teach and model alternative ways to solve problems. You make it clear that violence is not accepted in your family.  It goes without saying, but I will anyway, this means you are NEVER violent.

6.     Start family togetherness activities when they’re young – whether it’s playing games, gardening, reading, listening to music or chilling out together as you watch a movie. When the kids were little, during cold winter months, we’d have special days that we’d check out tons of library books and videos, come home and have an “inside picnic”. When the kids were older, we started “family pizza & movie nights” once a week. At one time, I thought they outgrew this, but I discovered that even as teenagers, they still enjoy it.

7.     As the mom, you set the tone for the family. Even if you wake up in a crappy mood, smile at that baby as soon as he or she wakes up and “fake it till you make it”.  Even little ones can sense your mood and will look to you for the lead.

8.     Your child will learn to read, when he is ready. There’s a lot of pressure for parents to teach their kids to read and some parents get frustrated when it doesn’t happen immediately. I know it’s hard, but you have to chill out. There are some things you can do, but ultimately, they read in their own time.

9.     Many people say sibling rivalry is a natural part of growing up. Fine, but it doesn’t mean you have to let it escalate. Each family is different and I can only attest to what worked for us. I spoke to each child separately about their behavior and how to solve things differently. I stopped any potential violent behavior. I encouraged each to love each other, but at the very least, they had to respect each other. This was a trying time for us, but we got through it and I think mostly because of nothing I did. Simply – they matured.

10.     As a parent of teenagers, I’ve learned to “ride the rollercoaster” of their moods. It’s happy one day and not so happy the next. It’s not easy, but you have to be strong enough for everyone. It’s a lot like a tug-of-war. You pull them in. They pull back (independence). This too shall pass.

Oh – and if your child is lost, you DO NOT treat this lightly. You DO NOT wait 30 days or even 30 minutes to report it.

LOVE YOUR CHILDREN! They are God’s gift to us.

I know many have their opinions about video games, but for our family, it started as a fun thing to do together or something the kids could play with their friends.  Now that the kids are not little, it’s not as much a family thing as I’d like, but that’s another story for another day. Today, I want to share some lessons I’ve learned since becoming a video game consumer.

A few years ago I boycotted a local video game store. Mostly, I was frustrated because two stores had merged and they’d seemingly become a monopoly. This did not sit well with me. No more competition. Why was it this particular store chain was the only one that could benefit from video game sales? It wasn’t their prices – some games were outrageously priced at $50+!! Where was the competition?  Best Buy and department stores, like Target or Kmart, seemed to have a smaller selection. More on that later.

This monopoly? It was GameStop.

Lesson #1: Businesses only care about the bottom dollar, regardless of fairness.

But, that wasn’t really what got me.

The thing that infuriated me, really infuriated me, was the realization that this store chain monopolized “old” game sales.  If you wanted an old game that no one made anymore, they were the only game in town (pun intended) since they bought used games.

Whenever my kids wanted to sell some of their old treasures, the store could name whatever price they wanted for these treasures, regardless of original price. It didn’t matter that you paid $100 for that old game system. “Here’s $5.” Really? Really? Five dollars for an entire video game system?

Lesson #2:  The market is really driven by supply and demand and, again, fairness has nothing to do with it.

I understood supply and demand, but it broke my heart because many times, my kids used their hard earned money or birthday money to make these purchases…from THEM…and it felt like a slap across our faces.

Sadly, the boycott did not last long. The pressures of getting the next “gotta have it” game came along right before Christmas and birthdays.  Still – I never forgot “the slap across the face” feeling and only went there as a last resort.

Years later, when businesses were struggling and foreclosures became the norm, guess which brand new store opened up close to my house? Yep – Gamestop. And it was striving! At a time when  you were hesitant to buy gift cards from many stores for fear they wouldn’t be there by the next week (think Circuit City), Gamestop was not in danger of any such thing.

Lesson #3: Find a niche market that appeals to different ages and you’ll strive, even in bad economic times.

A part of me is actually proud of Gamestop for doing so well.  After all, they employ local teenagers and young adults who seem to love their jobs.

Lesson #4: Businesses NEED to care about the bottom line if they want to stay in business.

As for the competition?  I’m happy to see that there’s some competition now. There’s Craigslist, EBay, pawn shops and countless others. Also, I’ve recently discovered a store that sells used video games/systems: Destiny Games.

Yay for competition! That’s all I wanted really. And the funny thing is that I didn’t have to wait all these years to find that competition. It was there all along and I needed to think outside the box.

Remember how I said other stores had a smaller selection? Well, I learned another little lesson about that and possibly the biggest one of all.

Lesson #5: Make phone calls! Stores with smaller selections don’t have room for new stuff and sometimes have to get rid of their inventory at extraordinarily low prices, in order to make room for new stuff.

I’m happy to report that my son’s latest video game purchase was not from Gamestop. It was from… Kmart! The item was marked 50% off!!!!!!  Even online stores couldn’t beat that price – and believe me, we looked.

I love competition!

On a recent road trip, I came across the Ziibiwing Center, which celebrates the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe of Michigan. Even though I was short on time, I decided to drop in anyway and take in the local culture. I’m so glad I did because I was treated to a beautiful and passionate American Indian dance.

The dancers’ stamina, spins and intensity were impressive.

The outfits were colorful and bright.

The children were also amazing.

I could tell how proud these dancers felt.

Overall, I loved the dance and felt honored to learn about the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe.

This motorcycle was pretty cool too.

You have certain expectations when you go to Vegas: monstrous and elegant hotels, vibrant and flashy casinos, marvelous yet expensive entertainment and of course, seedy characters sprinkled throughout. I mean, really, the place is known as the Entertainment Capital of the World and Sin City – those nicknames weren’t given by accident, right?

The hubby and I decided Vegas would be a fun place to celebrate our wedding anniversary and see what all the hoopla was about.

When we went to the sizzling city, and I mean SIZZLING, I saw all of the above. What I didn’t expect, and was a nice surprise, was the abundance of amazing art — at almost every turn.

We stayed at the fabulously posh Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas and I was blown away by the beautiful chandeliers and superb digital art throughout the hotel and casino. We chose this hotel because of its location and amenities. Little did I know it also used every, and I mean EVERY, opportunity to display tasteful art – even in our closet!

Now, I’m not an art connoisseur by any means, but I appreciate art like most people, and consider myself an art lover. And, baby, Vegas is an art lover’s dream. We checked out the Vegas Strip, on foot, and our eyes were saturated with incredible works of art, including statues of lions, kings, gods and goddesses, pyramids, sphinx, extravagant lights, lavish fountain shows, flourishing flowers, famous landmarks, and much much more. Let’s face it: Vegas is all MUCH MUCH MORE.

We also made it to a fabulous and outstanding Cirque du Soleil show. WOW! The stage and the cast were a stunning display of art too.

These are some of the fabulous art we saw during our trip. If you are an art lover and would like to share some of your pictures here, let me know and I’d be happy to add them.

The dog park opened in late May and we’ve gone numerous times.  I actually overheard someone say, “What happens at the dog park, stays at the dog park.”  I found out later that it’s a slogan on a t-shirt and I provided the link here.

We’d never experienced too much “off leash time” with other dogs, so I was a little hesitant at first and wasn’t sure what to expect.  Would we encounter Cujo-like dogs that’d attack my gentle and loving Max, who thinks everyone is his best friend? What if a dog fight breaks out and he gets swept up in it?

Poop bags and water on hand, we braved it one sunny afternoon. The second we arrived, Max’s nose went into full sniff mode. It was like me in a fudge store, inhaling all the wonderful smells that make me want to devour ten pounds of fudge.

Of course, Max left his “mark” every couple of feet, and we weren’t even at the gate of the fenced off area yet. There were only a couple of other dogs in the “small dog” section and of course, they greeted each other in their up-close and personal way. Again, think fudge store! Soon, Max ran off with one of the dogs and it was pretty sweet to see his little personality shine. I also found it to be a great social time for us owners, and it reminded me a lot of when my teenagers were toddlers and I made tons of mommy friends.

I was so pleased with our first visit that I go several times a week, which is more times than I go to the gym! Hmmm…funny how that happens.

We’ve gone at times when there were 20 or more dogs running around and, happily, haven’t had any Cujo incidents or aggressiveness. But there was one incident with growling and ironically, it came from Max!

Now that Max is in his “golden years”, he likes to take a little break now and then and not run around non-stop. The other dog was a puppy that never stopped running or jumping and he hadn’t quite learned the fine art of giving another dog his space. He’d race around with another dog and bulldoze his way into and over Max, who was minding his own little business on the soft grass. The first time, Max gave him a warning “look”. The second time, he put that puppy in his place with a vicious growl that surprised the heck out of me. My Max? He knows how to growl? He doesn’t hardly even bark! The puppy left him alone after that.

I highly recommend our dog park. It truly is a great place where dogs can run off leash to exercise and socialize. There’s also the added benefit of seeing all the different breeds, mixed or pure, and laughing at their individual antics.

In honor of Max’s birthday, here is some doggie etiquette for the dog park:

v  Do run off and socialize

v  Do not run off and socialize until you’re off leash

v  Do greet other dogs in the usual sniffing the privates ritual

v  Do not lick said privates, regardless of the enticing smells

v  Do smell every square inch of the 5 acres

v  Do not lick any of those inches, regardless of the enticing smells

v  Do relieve yourself of that full bladder

v  Do not relieve it all over a curious onlooker, human nor canine

v  Do empty your bowels if the urge arises

v  Do not empty them in small increments, every few feet

Ahh… Summer!  I missed you, my dear dear friend.  I’ve looked forward to your visit for several reasons: of course, the SUN – the SUN!!!  If that wasn’t enough, there’s also my trip to Japan and my wedding anniversary. Alas, one wasn’t to be…*sigh*, but the other is TOTALLY ON.

JAPAN:  Postponed! *sob* It wasn’t meant to be this year. Actually, it was my decision. Otherwise, I’d be there right now, in fact. Thing is – after the horrific tsunami and subsequent nuclear explosion, the U.S. issued a travel alert to avoid travel to Japan. This was back in May. Frankly, the radiation threat scared me — I’m a mom and can’t take the chance that I’d get cancer.  Also, part of my trip would’ve been a home stay and I just didn’t feel right about burdening a Japanese family, who had other things to worry about.  The U.S. travel alert says it’s safe now, outside a 50-mile radius of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant.

So – in the spirit of traveling to Japan NEXT YEAR, I’ve compiled 10 interesting facts and figures about Japan:

• Japan has vending machines that dispense BEER;
• Literacy rate is about 100% — ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!;
• A musk melon (like a cantaloupe) can sell for about 31,473 yen (that’s $300.00!);
• About 70% of Japan consists of mountains and there’s about 200 volcanoes;
• Japan consists of over 6,800 islands;
• The unemployment rate is less than 4%;
• Has the highest proportion of elderly in the world: 21%;
• Central Tokyo has a population of 12 MILLION people — the Greater Tokyo Area is about 35 million;
• Japan is slightly smaller in land mass than California;
• The most popular pizza topping in Japan is squid, followed by mayonnaise, corn and seaweed.

So, Japan wasn’t to be — YET. I look forward to next year, minus the pizza toppings. Squid? Oh boy! But, the good news is that I have new summer plans.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY: To celebrate our 25^th, the hubby and I are heading to….VEGAS! It’s my first time to the Entertainment Capital of the World and I can’t wait to soak it all in.

Here are just ten fascinating facts and figures about the Sin City, Las Vegas:

• There’s more than 15,000 MILES of neon tubing in the Strip and Downtown;
• The neon cowboy (Vegas Vic over Fremont street) is the world’s largest mechanical sign;
• There’s an average of 315 weddings PER DAY;
• Marriage license costs $35;
• It has one of the highest divorce rates in the U.S.;
• Average cost for filing divorce papers is $450;
• There’s about 200,000 slot machines;
• Of the 20 biggest hotels in the U.S. – 17 of them are in Vegas;
• About 37 MILLION people visit each year;
• 1,700 licensed gambling places.

I’ve been researching what to see, where to go and what to do. In a word: overwhelming!  There’s retail therapy, hotel hopping, strolling the 13-block Strip, eating at fabulous restaurants, taking in a spectacular show, or two, and soaking up the pulsating nightlife scene. *sigh* So many places to go, people to see! Viva Las Vegas and all that!

If you have any tips for our Vegas trip, please POST them. I’d greatly appreciate it!