The other three letter word nobody wants to be called…

Not FAT….I’m talking about getting OLD.  It’s funny how we fight it, but we’re all getting a little older every day.  Regardless of what skin care or vitamins you take, you’ll still get older…if you’re lucky.

My birthday’s coming up and I always get reflective at this time.  It’s a great age for that.   (ssh…I’ll never tell).  It’s like I’m standing on a time line where I can turn my head one way and glance  back at my life’s memories and then turn my head the other way and look forward to new ones.   The realist in me knows that I need to take each day as it comes and live it to the fullest, because sometimes we don’t have as many years left as we hope for.  My sister-in-law, JoAnn, died at the age of 44.  I’m learning (at my ripe old age) to live in the NOW, but with plans for my golden years.

I think about all the times I’ve said, “just kill me before I turn 90.”  My friends and family laugh when I say this, but they usually nod and agree that getting old is tough.  We all have stories about aging parents, grandparents or relatives and we hate to see them suffer, especially when they become incoherent.  It’s sad to see anyone’s life end with such little dignity.

I was in this reflective mood as I was putting away our fine china, which we used for our Thanksgiving feast.  It’s a lovely set which was handed down from my husband’s late grandmother, Jane.  Each piece is in beautiful shape and still gleams, as if it was brand new.  Obviously, it was handled with care through the years and I am honored that the set made its way into our home.

Grandma Jane was an interesting lady who told us wonderful stories about going to a speakeasy and the Great Depression.  She was petite and had blue sparkly eyes that lit up when she spoke.  When her husband was alive, they decided that he may die first and they sold their house and bought an assisted living condo.  He didn’t want her to struggle after he died.   It was perfect for them.  They were able to have the freedom of living on their own, as well as the security of having someone nearby, just in case.  The facility had a large cafeteria, which doubled as a meeting place and Jane liked to play cards with the other residents.   Also, they were in walking distance of a 24 hour store and they could take a shuttle bus on day trips.  I loved visiting them with my daughter (who was an infant at the time).

Now, they had the right idea about getting old.  It’s going to happen — plan for it.  Don’t be too proud to accept help when you need it and be realistic — you’ll need an alternative way of getting around.  Grandma Jane died not too long after her husband did.  I still think it was more of a broken heart, since they were inseparable when he was alive.  It was sad to see her go since I would’ve liked my kids to get to know her.  This is why I make sure my kids get to know their living grandparents.

My parents live a few thousand miles away and each time we visit, I see more signs of aging.  My mom walks a lot slower and she seems to have shrunk.  My dad’s memory is diminishing and each time, he tells the same story as if it was the first time.   It’s sad, but I know it’s part of life and the good news is that they are still with us.  We can still hug them and love them.  We can still listen to old stories (and pretend we’ve never heard them).  My dad loves to sit outside and breathe in the air from his trees as he listens to music on the radio.  My mom’s eyes light up when she tells me about a story she wrote — she’s a very creative writer.

My kids are also getting to know my husband’s dad, who lives near us.  He’s a self-described ‘dinosaur’ and a Godly man.  I  know that I am blessed to still have my parents and my father-in-law still around.  My kids never met their grandma on my husband’s side.  She died when she was only 59 years old and her death was sudden.

Instead of thinking of old age as doom and gloom, I choose to look at it as a blessing.  No one knows how long they will live and each year is a blessing.  I appreciate it more now, after JoAnn’s death.  Now, I pray that I get old.  I want to be like Grandma Jane and tell stories of my youth.  I want to be like my mom and continue to write stories.  I want to be like my dad, who appreciates music and soft breezes.  I want to be like my father-in-law, who finds humor in getting old.

Just like the fine china,  I will “handle with care” and hope that my eyes are still sparkling for the next generation.  This birthday, I will be happy that I’m one year older and have an amazing family and friends to share my life with right now.

Thanksgiving is in 2 1/2 weeks!

Here’s a little Thanksgiving poem I wrote, just for fun.

T’was the morning after Thanksgiving

T’was the morning after Thanksgiving, and all through our house,

I was the creature stirring, as sneaky as a mouse.

The kiddies, all cozy and snug in their beds,

The hubby’s arm stretched out, across the back of my head.

While visions of cheap prices danced in my mind,

I couldn’t wait to get there and see what I’d find.

Carefully, I lifted the covers and slid down,

Had just made it out of bed, without making a sound.

When out of the driveway arose such a clatter,

I sprang down the stairs to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, I went for a look,

Peeked through the curtains, that hung on a hook.

The sun was not up yet and the moon cast its glow,

The tree was glistening white, covered in fresh snow.

When, what to my sleepy eyes should appear?

But, my best friend, with her shopping gear.

She had Starbucks in hand and two-way radios too,

Her fanny pack had wish lists that bulged and grew.

I ran to the door and opened it wide,

I had to hurry and let her inside.

She smiled knowingly, when she saw my wrinkled mess,

I’d slept in my clothes, to help with readiness.

I sprang upstairs, to get my purse and shoes,

I dashed right back and was ready to cruise.

My friend drove, while I looked at the flyers,

There were such good deals at Target and Meijers.

I sipped some Starbucks and said with a smile,

“These deals only come once in a great while.”

Now, Walmart! Then, Kohls and JC Penney, too.

Of course, Target and Best Buy and Limited II.

We made it to the first store just as the long lines took flight,

“HAPPY SHOPPING TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD FIGHT.”

~~Maggie